


Going home

by ChocoNut



Series: Many ways to say I love you [32]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix it of sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jaime has to say I love you, Post the heartbreaking 8x4 goodbye, Reunion, Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 19:45:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18745837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: When Brienne pulls Jaime out of a burning Red Keep, Jaime owes her an explanation.





	Going home

**Author's Note:**

> An impulsive fix-it I had to write to keep my sanity and my mood intact.

Jaime’s eyes opened to someone he’d never imagined he would see again. “How--” he struggled to get the words out of his mouth, his throat dry due to the smoke he’d inhaled. “How--what are you doing here?” he stuttered, stunned to find himself staring at Brienne towering over his supine form.

Without a word, and her expression unreadable, she helped him up, seating him against the nearest tree trunk. “Drink,” she barked, thrusting a skin of water into his hands. “You can talk later. I didn’t drag you out of the fire for you to die of thirst.” There was hurt in that rough tone, but no sign of bitterness or resentment.

He drank deeply, fixing his gaze on her face, though unable to look her in the eye. When he felt hydrated enough to stand, he shuffled to his feet with her help. His mind now clearing, everything came back to him at once.

_How he’d entered the lioness’ den in a desperate attempt to negotiate a surrender, how she’d refused, calling him a traitor, how Daenerys had set the keep aflame, her mad rage getting the better of her, logic and strategy be screwed, how he’d been trapped inside the throne room with her, how Cersei had sealed his exit, refusing to let him go, declaring that she wanted to die in his arms, taking him along with her..._

_As his end was near, only one thought struck him, the one motivation that gave him the strength to wade through the fumes and get out of there. Alive. He wanted to live, for her, for the woman he loved. He’d resolved to himself that if he managed to get out of the burning hell alive, he’d ride to Winterfell and beg for her forgiveness, to plead with her to take him back, to make amends for the tears she’d shed that night…_

_Cersei went down before him and he was soon to follow her into the jaws of death. His strength giving way, he stumbled to the ground, consciousness draining out of him, darkness surrounding him but for the one face that stood clear in his mind’s eye, Brienne of Tarth, the woman he loved, the only ray of light in his dark destiny._

“If you’ve quite finished, I’ll be going my way.” Her usual crisp tone brought him back to the present. Before he could react, Brienne was a few steps ahead of him.

“Brienne, wait!” He hurried after her as fast as he could. “We need to talk.”

She slowed down for a brief moment, tossing him a look that clearly said she wanted no explanation. “There’s nothing left to talk.” She resumed pace, striding ahead of him. “I’m going my way and you can go wherever the hell you want.”

“You have to listen,” he insisted, an edge of desperation in his tone.

This time she stopped, turning to face him as she stood there, rooted to the spot. “Why?” The pain and unshed tears in that single word was evident. “Did you listen to me that night?”

“I did that for a reason,” he tried to explain. “I--”

“--tried to be selfless, wanted to protect me.” She shook her head in disbelief. “How could you think for even a moment that you could take her on yourself?” Her eyes flashed hurt and rage at his actions and love for him at the same time. “How could you--” she nearly broke down, her voice cracking.

Jaime mustered the courage to take a step towards her. “I didn’t want you following me,” he said, placing a gentle hand on her arm. “I feared--”

“--that Cersei might have killed me?” She shrugged his hand away. “I’d rather have died than let you die at her hands.”

He drew in a sharp breath. “Is that why you came here?”

“I came to get your sorry arse out of the doom you voluntarily walked into,” she snapped, “because I couldn’t--” She paused whatever she was about to say, her tone once again matter-of-fact. “This is goodbye then.”

She began striding away when Jaime decided he had to make one last frantic try before he lost her forever. “My lady,” he called out running after her. But before he could reach her, he was depleted of his strength once more and he crashed to the ground, gasping for breath.

“ _Jaime!_ ”

In the blink of an eye, she was by his side, kneeling beside him, her eyes full of concern. She thrust the skin she held to his mouth and let him drink, one sip at a time.

“Brienne, this might sound inadequate, but I’m sorry for what I said that night,” he began when he could talk again, deciding to unburden his heart of the guilt that had weighed it down for weeks. “I had no right to hurt you--”

“I cried for nights after you left,” she said, her lip quivering. “But how would you know, all you--”

“I know,” he tried to placate her, taking her hand, remembering the pain that had shot through him when he’d ridden out of the castle gates. “I’ve not slept a single night since then, for all I can see when I close my eyes are your tears. My decision was driven by guilt at what I'd let Cersei become and the urge to keep you safe. I had begun to get the feeling that I didn't deserve you, your love--”

“You’re a fucking idiot then!” she shouted, but this time she let him hold her hand.

He nodded in agreement. “I’d do anything to keep you safe, because I’m an idiot who--” he let go of her hand to cup her face “--who’s in love with you. I did what I did because I loved you then and I love you now.”

“Is this what you do to the women you love?” She still sounded angry, but she didn’t pull away.

“I do certain things for love,” he said sheepishly, “though they may not always be the right decisions. I often think with my heart, not my head, and my only thought that day was to protect you. I deliberately tried to push you away, hoping you’d hate me.”

“But you failed,” she said in a low voice, bringing her hand to his wrist. “You should’ve known you’d fail.”

“You’re an idiot too,” he chided her gently, “for trying to rescue me single handedly. What if something had happened to you?”

“I’d have died with you,” she said softly. “I do things for love too,” she added as an afterthought.

“All the heartbreak I caused you was futile, then,” he thought aloud, his stomach churning at the memory of her tearful face. “Will you forgive me? Can you trust me again?”

Her voice was steady when she spoke again but her eyes were pools brimming with emotions. “Only if you promise never to abandon me again.”

“I’d be a fool to let you out of my sight again,” he whispered, drawn to her eyes like a dying man to water.

“Swear it!” she insisted.

“I swear it,” he promised her, vowing to himself that he’d never let go of her hand again. “Marry me, Brienne,” he asked her, not wanting to miss another chance of a life with her. “I should’ve asked you the night we first--” the memory of their first kiss brought a smile to his face “--but better late than never.” He looked at her hopefully. “The only thing that matters to me is the two of us--”

“Three,” she interrupted him, holding her belly.

For a second, he blinked, and then it dawned on him. “Really?” he asked her, his happiness out of bounds when he glanced at her stomach.

She frowned, her smile disappearing. “You think I’d lie about something like this--”

He kissed her, this time slowly and sweetly. Unlike the numerous passionate kisses they had shared, this felt different, he felt free, fearless, the insecurity that she would be snatched from him no longer harassing him.

“Let’s go home, Brienne,” he said, linking his arm in hers when she had helped him to his feet.

Brienne gave him a questioning look. “Where is home?”

Jaime smiled, kissing her hair. “Wherever you want to go,” he said, pulling her into an embrace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I do believe Jaime will come around and we will have a proper re-union.


End file.
